Over the years, ladies have been known for several offensive acts, ladies are known to be money grubbers, cheats, desperate attention seekers, sex workers, ladies have been classified generally as vulnerable beings. It has become an avowed fact that all ladies are these deplorable things, but I disagree to this fact. It is quite unfortunate that a good number of ladies are involved in acts that depict an appalling image of the female gender.

Ladies were known to be virtuous but we see immoral ladies instead, ladies were known to have integrity and self esteem rather we see ladies who are ready to do just anything to get everything, but do we blame the ladies for this negative evolution? lets get to the genesis of this then.

Unknown to a lot of people there are veiled whys and wherefores behind this undesirable evolution the 21st century ladies have undergone. One of which is the effect of peers. Peers have a major role to play in the life of every lady, ladies tend to be enthralled and easily influenced by what they see. If Veronica, Joey’s friend has the latest and most fashionable shoes, Joey would definitely love to wear the trending shoes as well, who doesn’t want to look good? This is totally normal for every lady. People say a lady’s treasure is her wardrobe, 85% of ladies will do anything to stock their wardrobe, purchase the latest and most expensive phones, shoes, belts, jeans, hair, makeup kits, skin products, accessories and of course date the richest and most famous guy. Acquiring all these depicts no form of negativity at all, what gives rise to the perceptible negativity is external and internal pressure and the desperation to satisfy external forces. There’s actually nothing wrong about acquiring and using good things.

Ladies seem to be under unnecessary pressure to impress people, some ladies do everything to look good simply because a guy has been staring for weeks, while some do all they can to be the best dressed at every occasion even if it takes borrowing the whole outfit, a lady will do anything to ensure her dressing suits her accent, a lady will do anything to prove to her circle of friends that she deserves to be part. None of these desires are negative per say but desperation causes these things to be sought after in a rather appalling manner. The female gender is unavoidably faced with different challenges on a daily basis and these challenges exert so much pressure on the lady, consequently ladies begin to act under duress, making wrong decisions due to the pressure they face. The desire to belong and to prove to the world their capabilities is a major struggle of the female gender, in the midst of the numerous challenges ladies experience, this stands out.

Humanity’s greatest desire is to belong and connect. And now we see each other. We hear each other. We share what we love, and it reminds us what we all have in common. This is simply the intention of every lady, they only want to fit in to the growing world and nothing else. but why do some ladies seek these things in a contrary manner. THE MIND.

As Siegel explains, “The mind can use the brain to perceive itself, and the mind can be used to change the brain.”

Our brains become used to, and even develop a preference for, certain patterns, meaning the brain can be trained to behave, and even gradually evolve, based on the activities of the mind. Simply put, the mind is a powerful tool that can be utilized only according to the directives of the possessor, the mind continues to be blank until content is intentionally installed into it. The minds of so many ladies have been made to accept norms that have eventually become facts, so many ladies believe life wouldn’t be normal if they don’t prove they have some sort of class, few of them undergo lectures on how to impress the opposite sex, some feel they aren’t good looking enough to attract a guy hence are subjected to the use of diverse skin and face products as well as surgeries which sometimes go awry, many have a hard time handling excessive attention from the opposite sex, some are even bothered about how their fellow ladies see them, so many ladies are bothered about their bodies, coupled with the biological processes that ladies undergo, the search for perfection exerts so much pressure on the mind of the lady, consequently the lady loses her self-confidence and may begin to exhibit signs of emotional stress such as depression, Anxiety, Memory and concentration problems, compulsive behavior, Mood swings.

The difference between two ladies is self-confidence, a confident lady could be bothered about things, of course everyone gets worried at some point in their lives, that’s perfectly normal, but will invariably remain firm, a lady with a high self-esteem will never compromise her values and standards for anything not even her the greatest desire. Yes! They exist.

Diffident ladies parade themselves as who they’re not, they fake identities to delude people into thinking they’re posh (now being posh isn’t something deplorable), they do all it takes to be on new and expensive outfits on every Instagram post, they’re too insecure about their complexion and physique, they jump into relationships indiscriminately sometimes because they want to flaunt their rich boyfriends, or for sexual gratification and most times because they desperately need someone to be responsible for them, ladies are now known to be solely dependent on the opposite sex for everything including some basic and non expensive items, ladies seem to have lost societal value because they believe their survival is hinged on someone else.

Everyone has expectations for you, some because they love you; most, because they don’t really know you and they would like to see how you fit in to the world. Our society expects you to be successful according to its standard, not on your terms. You also want to be accepted and loved by others. And that’s okay. However, the problem with expecting peripheral recognition is that you lose focus on what you want to do. External pressure comes from the circumstances or people around you. Internal pressure is when you push yourself too hard or worry that you won’t be able to meet other’s expectations. External expectations are a moving target — they’ll make you anxious and desperate regardless of how good your act is. You cannot control external forces, but you are totally in control of the internal pressure.

“Handling the pressure of critical moments determines a great deal of life success. Harness and manage energy effectively — avoid the debilitating effects of pressure. Learn to release steam rather than adding more pressure to your mind” Gustavo Razzetti.

“The duality between who you are and who you should be, makes you lose clarity — you feel you are about to explode. Your real and ideal-self are in a constant fight.” Gustavo Razzetti.


Reconciling that tension and finding balance will help you release the internal pressure. Let go of the need to be perfect and impressive to world.

Your mind is your tool, you’ll only only see things from a different perspective when you feed your mind with the right content. The life of a lady is crowded with lots of insecurities, you just badly want to impress everyone as well yourself and that’s not a bad idea, the bad idea is seeking to achieve these things in response to the external pressure and out of desperation, the bad idea is wanting to be like everyone. Every lady is a unique being, there is no rule that compels you to follow the trend. You need to consciously decide to be yourself and develop the you inside of you. Being a lady isn’t as easy as it seems but you can it make easy by teaching your mind to accept you and your unique characteristics and your mind will take it off from there that way overcoming the pressure would be easier. You have to install the quality of self-confidence into your mind by believing in yourself, believe that you’re beautiful, wise and strong and watch yourself become that confident lady. Quit thinking of the pressure and build your self-confidence to that level where overcoming insecurities and desperation wouldn’t be an issue.

“Can we give ourselves one more chance?”— Queen & David Bowie

We definitely deserve a chance to prove to the world that we are beautiful in ourselves.

You’re beautiful!

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