Successful communication helps us understand people and situations, it helps us overcome diversities as well as build trust and respect. Listening is one of the most important aspects of communication. Successful listening is not just an understanding of spoken or written information but also an understanding of how the speaker feels during communication. Let’s take listening to our relationships then.
If there’s no communication in your relationship, maybe neither party is truly listening, instead both parties are just trying to prove they are right or maybe listening while doing something else. Listening gives both parties an opportunity to understand each other, and get the right motive behind their words and actions, failure to listen breaks the bridge of communication in a relationship which eventually results in several conflicts. Listening occupies an esteemed position in every relationship and failure to recognize it’s existence results in conflicts. The reason behind some shattered relationships is lack of understanding, and understanding is tied firmly to communication and communication to listening, it all goes in cycles.
Deep and positive relationships can only be developed by listening to each other (Weger, Castle and Emmet, 2010).
Careful listening creates an atmosphere where two people in relationship feel safe to express ideas, opinions and feelings. In a marriage setting, a wife and a husband can only successfully build a deep and positive relationship when they listen to each others ideas, hence a deluge of creativity evolves as they collectively bring up ideas and are encouraged to work together to make that idea a reality. Every relationship must have a goal and a purpose for its existence, therefore any two people in a relationship must have written goals and must work toward achieving these goals. Can two people work together except they agree? its a simple answer “NO” . Deals are signed and finalized after a period of communication between both parties, in other for two people to work together there has to be a mutual understanding of the subject matter. This is where listening is compulsory, listening enables both parties’ opinions to be heard without criticism.
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While listening, you shouldn’t do these
- Daydream or think of something else while your partner is speaking, you should give absolute attention to your partner while he or she is trying to communicate.
- Think of what to say next, this action completely takes away your attention.
- Listen with a specific goal in mind.
- Judge what the other person is saying.
Active listening is so much more than not talking, it is an art which requires a genuine interest in the other person, a curiosity rather than an anticipative mind. Active listening involves;
- Paying absolute attention to your partner,not your thoughts. it is true that during a conversation our minds tend to roam about facts that have been mentioned and rather than paying attention, our minds begin to process that information. But to be an active listener there must be a conscious effort to listen absolutely.
- Non verbal involvement. The use of certain gestures during a conversion gives your partner the confidence that you are interested in the conversation.
- As an active listener, you have to tolerate silence. You need to be silent and attentive when your partner is talking, rather than interrupt.
- No criticisms. do not be judgemental. After your partner is done talking try seeing things from your partners standpoint , and together make a resolution that wouldn’t be in favor or against either of you, rather help you work together. In a case of a dispute between both parties, anger and rage is certain, but a listener could resolve such issue without strife.
Listening is the key to positive and conflict free relationships, listening depicts maturity, and gives rise to understanding in relationships. Partners that listen to each other are partners that build together, as earlier stated there must be a set goal in every relationship and listening to each other creates room for freedom of expression of ideas and opinions hence achieving your goals. Listening gives you an opportunity to think in the direction of your partner and gives you a clearer understanding of your partners’ motives. Be a listener! .
Let me know your take on this, Next article will entail tips on how to respond after the listening game and an interesting story of this beautiful couple George and Evelyn. listen better! .